Post by Shizuo Heiwajima on Dec 4, 2011 19:53:05 GMT -5
"First we need a picture."[/i]
"We need to get you down on paper and make sure we have a good profile for the records. Now, please, state your name:"[/i]
"Alright, any aliases:"[/i]
"Okay, that'll work. Please state your business:"[/i]
"That's what we needed. Now, if you'll give me a bit of your history..."[/i]
"Well, that's interesting. Now we'll need a personality profile for you. If you'll describe yourself for me, that'd be great."[/i]
"Hmm... You don't match the profile we're looking for. How about a few things that irk you?"[/i]
- Izaya Oirhara
That little flea knows exactly what makes me mad, and if he can take advantage of it, he will! Makes me want to wrap my hands around that pencil neck of his and squeeze unti- sorry. That won't help my case, will it? - The Blue Squares
Those punks mess with everyone and anyone. Doesn't matter who you are or who you know, they'll take you in and rewrite your personality. Makes me sick. - The Yellow Scarves
Just a bunch of snot nosed punks thinking they can take over. Well, they should just go back to school. We don't need more bodies around this town, especially ones like that. Tch. - Complicated movie plots
You're sitting there watching a movie and all of a sudden it takes this weird twist that you're not following. 'Oh, the main character's lover is actually her brother!' Since when?! They don't even look alike! And now the main bad guy is father to both of them? I'm throwin this away. - Cheesy romance scenes
I don't mind confessing, but when they run into each others' arms after some huge fight or whatever, that's just stupid. No lady has ever ran into my arms after a fight, and I wouldn't let her neither. If you don't know the girl, why are you getting involved? - Violence
Everyone should hate violence. Why? Because it just makes more violence. Like a virus, all it does is hurt and kill people. I guess if you have more violence than the next guy, you'll be fine, but you're still putting them in the hospital. Those doctors have more to do, curing diseases and all that, than having to pull that bullet out of your leg. - People claiming to love someone when they know nothing about their partner
This is more just annoying than really making me mad. I mean, why would you love them?! For all you know, they like sour candy while you like sweet! That's gonna make some complications in the long run, you know? - When someone won't stop calling me or texting me.
Even if my phone is on buzz, it still keeps buzzing and buzzing! You can hear it. And when you have your phone on silent, it still lights up just to tell you. And when you just turn the damn thing off, you get calls later where some person is yelling, 'Why didn't you answer me, Shizuo?' I don't need to answer you!"
This list goes on for a while.
"So, that's what you don't like. How about what you do like?"[/i]
- I like kittens
They're cute... and fluffy... What's not to like? - Puppies
They're playful, and you can train them to do whatever you want. Why wouldn't you like that, huh? - Awkward confessions
Tch... It's sweet and fun to watch. It's only ever awkward when the two people have known each other forever, you know? - Peaceful negotiations
Those negotiations where you don't have to break someone's face, you know? They're peaceful and the other person just gives you what you want. - Playing football
Violent sport?? Tch. All you need to do is pick up the ball and push everyone out of your way. It's like chasing a perp. - Finding a better way to release anger than beating the crap out of someone
Like football. - And that moment when you know everything has fallen right into place.
If you haven't felt this moment, you don't know happiness."
"Alright, and what are you good with?"[/i]
- Heavy lifting
The weights at the gym don't go high enough, so I don't know how much I can bench press. Hmm... How much does a vending machine normally weigh? - Hand to hand combat
Nothing hurts me, really. - Hand to weapon combat
I mean, nothing. - Hand to lethal weapon combat
Okay, it'll hurt, but I won't stop. Even if the prick has a gun. - Encouraging people to talk
It's easy if they know who you are. Even if they don't, break something really hard and give them that look that says, 'You're next' you know? - Stopping fights
Sometimes you have to get in the middle, but it's still pretty fun to make people stop or have their face beaten in. - Throwing things
It isn't violent unless you're throwing things AT someone. If you're just throwing for distance... - Breaking things
Also not violent. You can't be violent to something that can't feel pain. - And making friends with animals
Just something you're going to need to know someday."
"And what will we have to worry about?"[/i]
- Academics
I'm just not good at that kind of stuff. - Problem solving
Here, I'll solve the problem for you. Break a sign over his head, he'll talk when he gets up. - Negotiating peacefully
They just won't give me what I want unless I threaten them. What am I supposed to do? - Keeping my temper
Don't get me wrong, I don't like to get angry or anything... - Using technology
I can barely work this damn cellphone. - Fixing things
All I know is if it moves and it's not supposed to, duct tape. If it doesn't move and it's supposed to, you're not trying hard enough. - Making human friends
All my friends are animals and pixies. Humans just get scared and run. - Expressing my opinion without smashing someone's face
You've had that problem, right? - Romance
As I said before, humans just get scared and run."
"Hmm... So, we've heard that you're close to someone. Or, trying to get close to them anyways. Anyone you're interested in?"[/i]
"Okay. And the password?"[/i]
"Now, about your friend there. We'll just need a few things from them. Not the same stuff as you. Give us some information. Just Age, gender, and something we can call you by."[/i]
"Anything else we should know about you?"[/i]
"That's everything that I need. Oh, as a formality, we do require a sample."[/i]
